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the deepest recesses of the heart, the place where we seek solace
Stop the use of violent metaphors 
14th-Jun-2016 03:21 pm
This has been on my mind.
Can we stop using metaphors of violence and sexual violence? i have read so many gay people describing sex acts towards Brian Lim.
I want to invite everyone to pause and think.
This is same kind of rhetoric used by men against women, men against lesbians. i must honestly say i have not heard one woman in my life use the word "rape" metaphorically or metaphors of sexual violence on someone else. Maybe i am surrounded by wonderful women. But i read/see/hear almost every day men using "rape" or descriptions of sexual violence on people they do not like, or they disagree with.
This come from male privilege. This is the use of power as a way to threaten, coerce and impose one's opinions and one's will onto another person.
This is not getting one's point across intelligently, with reason and well thought out arguments/ points. This is bulldozing one's opinion, right or wrong, by sheer force and power. Often, it is used when one has been defeated in an argument, or when one is on very weak ground.
We want to change the world. We want to resist the oppression of the weak by the powerful. But when we use such language, such metaphors, we become the very same people we are resisting.
i have changed over the years. i choose my words pretty carefully. i have avoided for a while the word "fight." i will not fight for my rights - as someone who believes that violence will beget violence, hate begets hate, the way forward is not to "fight" but stand up and resist.
If we are to change, then we need to rewire ourselves. And the language we use shape our reality. So we need to reexamine the language and the metaphors we use.
Likewise, i would like to appeal to people not to call those people they do not like, disagree with, names. This reduces them. Dehumanizes them. As much as we disagree, as much as we don't like them, calling them animals, beasts will only create further divides. We are all humans. Even someone who yelled at a disabled worker. Even if someone did not apologise. Even if someone called for our deaths. Even if someone refused to see us as human beings. We should not succumb to the temptation to do the same. By all means, call out the wrongdoing. Point out bad behaviour. But don't call them names. Don't reduce them to one thing.
Dehumanizing someone makes it easier for us to hurt the other person - be it physical harm, emotional harm or psychological harm.
Change will only come when we see each other for the many things we share in common, not when we dehumanize each other.
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